paying my orange dues?

i'm not religious, i've never said grace (apart from..school camp :P) but everyday i eat at least one orange and a few months ago i started thinking about the life of an orange and i've become thankful for food i consume. i acknowledge the production process as i eat and think about the copious time and energy put into bringing the food to the state that it is on my plate. for the purpose of this post i'm going to use an orange as the subject:

i give thought to the seed, the tree, the nurturing of the tree and all the seasons that the farmer loves the tree for. the initial formation of a baby green orange on the tree, and the delight it brings the farmer for he knows he'll have a 'fruitful' harvest. then the weeks it takes for an orange to ripen on the tree and eventually drop, or be picked by a person who's soul purpose in life is to pluck oranges off trees. it then is carried to a cold, lifeless warehouse or packing facility where it's labeled ans deported to a retailer or a point of sales. mum then goes on her weekly food gathering endeavor and trades hard earned coins and noted representing wealth for numerous orangeS, which are then brought home to where they'll meet their maker, moi. ORANGE GUILLOTINE! the days, weeks, months put into preping the orange for my consumption precess which only lasts...1-2 minutes tops seems imbalanced, such is the world. which leads me to consider the destructive nature of humans, buttttt i'll save that for another post (maybe).

i appreciate the taste of oranges greater than before :) ... it's sort of blissful.

when i see natural disasters on the news wiping out towns and villages, as well as grieving for the people i also think about their belongings and the food in their homes that's being lost, i once again think about the produces and the value of the food.
when a farmer see a civilian devour an orange do they feel a sense of accomplishment? achievement? or resentment for the person?

i thought about writing a creative narrative about the journey of an orange, but... iono?... CEEEEEEEBS :) ...it's number 457684534168351464868 on my list of things to do after year 12.
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i find it funny how the a specific duration of time can be experienced differently. when people have fun they say time flies, when the experience during the time is not so desirable it's a DRAINERRRR. i wonder if a mathematical conversion can be formulated... for example say a person is given 5 minutes: if it's enjoyable it'll feel like hmm...say 1 minute, if it's hell it'll seem like maybe 10 minutes (wow this person's perception of time fails :P) therefore a ratio can be concluded 1 minute of fun to every 10 mintutes of crap. my random figures aside, is it true that the lows of life heavily outweigh the highs? or are they equal? is it better to live a stable life or one with crazy emotions full of both turmoil and serentity.


song on repeat: DBSK - Doushite Kimi Wo Suki Ni Natte Shimattandarou (why did i fall in love with you)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKy6H2snEqQ

~~~ this post has taken me the most time to write out of all my few blog posts, i dunno what happend..words didn't flow, it feels forced and awkward. my english is =\ ...i listend to the song 8 times whilst typing this up...
p.s adults are hypocrites :) they tell us not to play with out food when the fact is that somebody, i dunno who got paid to make that! -.- WHAT IS THIS?!

- e d i

remember the future [mega rant]

i'd like to take this opportunity to invite you to remember what u thought you're life would be like now 6 years, 3 years, or even one year ago and how do you measure up?

Last year around this time my blood was turning green with jealousy, i so deeply envied the students battling through their final weeks of school. i did not consider the fact that they had to face the definitive final exams, i just saw their rugby tops, heard them leaving school before 3.25pm, and began to feel their presence dissipating. I felt so happy for them and so encouraged to get through one more year, however being in that 'position' i must say the sensation i thought it would be is seriously lacking!

to be honest my mind is currently plagued with possibilities for the future, recently i've been waking up in the mornings thinking "3 months from now what is everything gonna be like?"
... are all my skies going to be blue, are all the trees going to be leafy and green, are all the birds going to be singing? or
... will i be stalked by cumulonimbus clouds, will the weight of civilian glances feel like 5 tonnes of shame, will my white room walls become grey and reek with disdain.
WHAT THE HELL WILL THE 3 MONTHS FOLLOWING EXAMS FEEL LIKE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
There will be minimal stress, late nights, no work, no pressure, no early mornings(i hope), no purpose, no ...wait what? ...NO PURPOSE!?
i find that thought unsettling. the fact is 13/17 years of my current life have been spent attending education institutions on a daily basis, inevitably my life has become shaped around this ideal of school without it i don't know what i'd do...all i can do is hope try/struggle and hope for the best.
this reminds me of advice such as:'study harder' or 'try harder' or 'it all comes down to YOU' ...all of which is as helpful the sound of a toilet flush. I seek help for benefit, to be externally aided in some way or another. Those 'words of wisdom' remind me of when i ask my someone for their opinion on a subject and they reply 'up to you...' WTF?! am i not worthy of your mighty opinion? ...or are you just so lazy that you ceebs thinking of one? -.- either way GRRRRR.
~Please excuse the digression, my focus lapsed :(~
as i toy with the unlimited potential of the unknown i fear i may meander into dangerous territory. expectations might be set which if unmet could be a crippling blow to my consciousness. i AM deterred but i cannot help it. and then i go on to think if we all die in the end whether it be 50 or 100 years from now then what is the point? i've received the gift of life, but if it proves more nuisance then an enjoyment then why? should we be grateful for a gift that fails? for example if someone receives a..hmmm a broken limb for their birthday should they be grateful? ...after all 'it is the thought that counts!' someone made the effort to deliver...

i'm currently trying to remember all the possibilities for my life in 3 months time, and when that time comes i shall compare and blog about that... just for fun no?

blah~blah~blah

- e d i