- e d i

Thoughts

2011-11-08T06:46:00.001-08:00

- how has the world changed over 2 generations? what experiences shaped our grandparents.

- so much self importance, a person's value is measured by the sized of the void created in the lives of those they leave behind.

- i think im mature for my age and this may not be true.

- truth and innocence exists when there is little or nothing at stake.

Day 1

2011-06-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

i'm not gonna lie, i thought you were a bitch when i met you... actually no i take that back, the things people had to say about you made me expect you to have a terrible personality. You proved them all wrong but so many people saying such bad things about you i was hoping you'd prove them right so that i could agree with them and see it too. terrible of me to do but i even set a double standard, i reduced my tolerance for you and was prepared to jump on any opening you provided for me to dislike you but you maintained and was always the better person. as it continued i was expecting the 'facade' to end and for you to snap, show your 'true colours' but even now you are still so much better than the rumors. did you change before i got to know you or did you know what people had said, what i expected of you and are so determined to prove us wrong. occasionally now in a testing situation i kinda expect to see some of the person ive been told about but time and time again ive been so pleasantly surprised by your fun, cheerful reaction.

ive discarded all those misconceptions and i take you for how you are to me. you are a better person than me and i feel bad and am truly sorry for it all. i wish all the haters from back then saw what i see now.

One of the more significant thoughts i had today was about society's reception to different types of humor. there in lies 2 categories in particular that i find is separated by a very fine line: wit and lame. when i crack a joke in the spur of the moment my peers either find it witty-funny or lame-funny. lately ive been getting more of the latter beginning with the blank stare or a cringe then followed by laughter. despite resulting in the desired effect, a lot of the time i disagree with the reaction. Of course it's all in good fun and no one means any offence sometimes when im so convinced that the gag was witty but doesn't receive a reception i get confused because i dont see how it wasent. maybe ya'll just sayin' lame coz thats the cool thing, mainstream hatin'. lol

bratty little kids should not be excused from being treated like another person just coz they're young. i believe in positive reinforcement but sometimes it just doesnt work which calls upon other profound discipline methods. i hate work. the grass is always greener, when you've got a job you dont want to work but when you don't have a job and need the cash ...yeah

captn' awesome - for somereasong it makes me think of 'fish-fingers', you need to resolve your phone dilemma asap. ive been where you are if you guys weren't there i wouldve cried..no doubt. need a new iphone just spend a couple hundred on it then get the backup all will be well.

5 day diary

2011-06-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

the brief:

to write a single entry everyday before i sleep. posts will be honest to thought and hence will be presented raw.

rules:

- all names will be substituted with an alias without gender bias and will not be consistent through out posts (exceptions: relatives, in which case the relation will be stated).

- thoughts during the writing of the post are not valid.

duration: the 'business week' starting 27th of June and ending 1st of July.

mo/ac-tivation

2011-04-12T07:32:00.000-07:00

so, just sitting here i don't feel compelled or obliged to make a conscious effort to do any of the tasks i know i should. sitting at my computer arduously doing what i do every other empty night, i take a sip of my bland yet essential cup of fresh livation however tonight it doesn't taste so insipid. tonight it's different, flavored with the suffocating taste of guilt and annoyance i attempt to wash it down with a bigger gulp. oh fuuu, rookie mistake! the burning after-taste of self pity only exacerbates the helplessness of my dismal plight. short term relief is provided utilizing an unperturbed attitude to contemplate the present but insanity ensues after considering the consequences, i'm filled with both senses of panic and shock(not that i didn't know it was coming).

i know i'm not alone, i know i'm not the only one facing this predicament yet no comfort is sought in the thought. knowing that there is an army of my comrades, fellow studious warriors out there just like me battling out against this beast named laziness provides no sanctity. it is irrelevant to me how dramatic you act i can guarantee that my self-loathing is greater hence i've been desensitized and cannot sympathize, but you're more than welcome to try and empathize. it doesn't follow basic laws logic to have such hindering mannerisms instilled. hmm i hope in the future when 'preimplantation genetic diagnosis' is possible we'll be able to remove such toxic personality traits; just imagine the productivity, it angers me just thinking of the potential. a peace of mind may only be obtained by ridding my life of this snare set by the duo of human nature and society.

the solution: motivation. such a simple word but such a complex concept. i turn green with envy when i think of those who are able to practice complete forbearance against social pressures. i know for a fact i'm weak in that respect due to friends and family being the major influence in my life. some advice i'd like to give to myself would be: harness this realisation, harness the all the anger an hate for this indolent attribute and channel it towards acting on change. this sounds level headed and achievable yet in order to act upon it i'd require a certain amount of drive, that little extra effort to activate the cycle of events to follow. the cliche "that's easier said than done" is all too appropriate right now.

ultimately we're back to square 1?

bad people

2010-10-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

was it for revenge? out of spite? or are you just greedy?
do you feel better about yourself now? smug?

maybe it's karma, but karma is balanced and i do not see this punishment fit for anything ive done as of late.

please tell me you're happy, then at least i know someone benefited from this injustice. you have cause me a great deal of pain.

you may not realise the repercussiongs of your actions but let me know, is your moral compass pointing north?

seriously though... why?

Testing testing 1 2 3

2010-10-10T05:01:00.001-07:00

Hi... hi? ...hello? is this human on?

On the rare occasion that i publish a blog entry it’s usually due to a combinationg of depressing factors such as gloomy weather in addition to an ass whooping from parents, however today as i write i go against this norm.

Melbourne’s forecast for Sunday the 10^th of September 2010 was one to look forward to and surprisingly she delivered. The weather was blissful, 25 degrees with the occasional silver cloud that looked like a giant puffy marshmallow placed against the eternity of serene blue. These clouds served as aesthetically pleasing ornaments decorating the home of angels and the gods. If you were fortunate to experience today and not witness it from behind a sheet of melted sand you would’ve felt the relaxing light sun rays kiss your skin inducing the priceless sense of calm and Zen. Blessed with such weather you’d assume that anyone in their right mind would take full advantage of this golden opportunity to undergo summery activities that Victorians have been rendered incapable of doing for a solid 6 months... i am not in my right mind.

Today i split my time between studying and getting annoyed at myself for not enjoying the company of the outdoors. Being annoyed and distracted for a majority of the day is actually quite physically tiring, i was ready to get some shut-eye at least 2 hours ago. Why is it so hard to be content with what we have? Why do i find it difficult to support my decisiongs and bear the consequences knowing that they’re justified? I had a better than average Saturday and agreed to spend my Sunday studying with the knowledge that Sunday’s weather was going to be as good as it was. But coming the crunch time i could not suppress the feeling of regret. Most powerful would be the one who could clearly experience the future...oh how i’d love that to be me!

It is the bad experiences that are needed in order for good to come. They’re comparable references, but the complicated nature of emotions and brain function does not seemed balanced. It always feels like the bad times are prolonged whilst the good times are heaps short lived hence an imbalance between the 2 opposites. Could a possible remedy for this be open mindedness and tolerance? Understand that everyone goes through tough times and that it’s one of those necessities in life that defines us. Additionally i also contemplate how such extremities of each exist, id est it’s amazing how at one point in time you’ll be having the absolute worst time being almost ready to end it right there and then but the world gets flipped and all that was bad is delightful and pleasing. Feeling motivated and inspirited time accelerates and is as graspable as beach sand. In essence it’s not persistence that’ll help tank it but being bubbleh. Being able to laugh at oneself. Being a CHILLA.

Pro tip: relax mang, jus chill.

Rewards do not exist but rather just natures attempt to rebound from the lows. Delayed gratification = win.

Fuelled by uncertainty

2010-06-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

- Uncertainty’ one of life’s corner stones.

I think it is justified to speculate that humanity thrives on uncertainty and the unknown. The cliché ‘curiosity killed the cat’ might actually be sending a slightly flawed message. It’s possible that it was the curiosity of the cat that urged it to keep on living till its last moments when a freak occurrence got the better of it. To know what tomorrow brings is a goal that can urge our will to live, what I’m trying to say is life is based on possibility, nothing is definite, yes and no are overstatements as nothing is guaranteed. No one wants to ‘go’ with ‘what ifs’ on their conscience, truth (a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like. –Dictionary.com) only adheres to the definition once the event has happened. My view of reality is that there is a single, linear timeline along which the truth occurs beginning at present entailed by the past, spawning from this single timeline are alternate realities generated by individuals and what they believe to be fact. Actions are like bricks that are added on to the linear timeline that push previous actions into the past. The future that is yet to occur is not set and anything can happen which is very misleading. Sometimes people’s alternate realities can creep ahead of the truth, which may cause much anguish as the two may not be in agreement when the truth catches up, this dispute can be painful or enlightening [honestly i prefer the latter :D].

- My lack of google imaging skills rendered me unable to find a suitable picture that i feel represents this post appropriately... so here's SKELETOR.

In hindsight things usually look easier purely because of the knowledge and experience of knowing what or how it was done. Adversely life is not so easy, we’re forced to live for tomorrow to uncover the mystery of today. Hindsight provides certainty, a bit like the truth, and allows for an honest, biased evaluation of events. Such actions are inevitable, it is impossible to forget the past, dwelling may not be productive but those who refuse to look back or spare a second thought are either naive or cowards. Reflecting on the past is what makes, breaks and changes us. It aids the moulding of our individual personalities. This train of thought leads me to consider actions, reactions and consequences. Consequences [hmm what has the word done wrong to deserve negative connnotationgs?] are definitely classified as unknown, but yet predictable.

A thirst for knowledge and ‘self-discovery’ journeys are embarked on for enlightenment, people hope that they’ll have an epiphany or a less sever realisation of some personal traits. Once again uncertainty or the unknown seems to be the key motive for such actions. Additionally a sense of security can be based on the knowledge of ‘knowing’ and anticipating events that are near certain. So putting two and two together, some people feel threatened by not knowing what is to become of a situation and attempt to conquer it, other thrill seekers enjoying the suspense; either way uncertainty is the initial element that provokes a reaction, whether it be out of fear or curiosity is irrelevant [am i freaking reiterating myself?! :S]

Knowledge is power whilst ignorance is bliss. Once again a fork in the road presents itself, but who’s to say that we can’t climb into a tank and ride over the middle. Like any other dreamy utopian I wish for the best of both worlds, to be knowledgeable with power but yet obtain a blissful state of mind [NOT zen, just blissful]. Ignorance doesn’t really appeal to me as it can be easily be mistaken as some sort of unfortunate condition [tehe hurr derp :P jokes... yeah nah...yeah?]. To be ignorant is to be uninformed about various aspects of one’s own life, this lack of awareness makes people vulnerable and susceptible to be taken advantage of. In order to prevent this we educate, learn, gain knowledge which inadvertently leads to power. However power doesn’t really full appeal to me either, I mean I loathe the idea of being a dictator [HA Ha ha! ... -.-], but I’d like a certain amount of control over particular elements of my life. There are many examples in history of how power changes people for the worst; to pessimistically put it power is a cesspool for all of things that rot away the world. [-sigh- wanna slit wrists yet? xD] Such negatives examples completely negate the positive impact the few good ones have... this is mildly depressing so i shall finish up here.

In conclusion life is a journey that we cannot merely be passengers, it requires involvement and commitment to realise potential and opportunities both of which remain uncertain until they expire. I wish I could just ride life like a massive wave and wait to arrive at the beach but would that inadvertently leech all the fun?

- ...yeah, look at when it was created -.- took me ages to post.

- this time i didn't have anything on repeat! :D i had whole playlist

- this got some lols from me. hidden message? sure hope so. xD

Spent a fair bit of time writing this post, like 9 months, and it’s pree much my first non-emo post in a while. It was definitely fun but very tedious. Over the end of semester break i hope to publish more posts of this concept in this format.

J'ai fini...

2010-05-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

i wanna go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow weightless, all burdens of society nullified.

this is all too much.

ceeeeeeebs.

feel completely spent, all burnt out.

thinking of what comes next makes me feel numb.

i’m out.

i quit.

laters.

please no more.

...

To give, give, give and... give.

2010-03-21T04:33:00.000-07:00

why is it that people do things at the expense of their own happiness for others to benefit? is it that we care so much about what other people think about us that we act in a profoundly generous way as to seem more likable, or is it for the self satisfactiong of doing something 'good' by helping others. what if the decisions that we make to allow others to be happy go unnoticed whilst denying us so much as a peek at contentment. does the reason even matter why people make sacrifices for others? ...hmm sacrifice, such a heavy word.

lately i've found a lot of situations very testing, i've made many decisions costing me my happiness which is of high value in my life. i like to please everyone... anyone whether they be distant or close, and i try really damn hard, well... i have been. i thought that i'd be content with satisfying others, i thought that the happiness of others would reflect in me...but why?! why is this not the case? i'm puzzled, i thought i was somewhat better than this... am i just a selfish person who priorities are influenced by my desire for first hand experiences of happiness, i definitely know that i can better. firmly believe that seeing delight in others should be heaps sufficient for me to be happy.

...phase? but a serious dilemma, ceebs contemplating yet such a persistent thought... please just go away.

Dan Wilson/Bic Runga - Good Morning Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8RU2WNK4eU

dwell on the past? or embrace the future...

2009-10-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

i'm greedy once i do one i go back for the other

- Time is a variable :)

~is it possible to have so much fun as to enable one to travel back in time...

smothered.

i wish i could fly, reach the clouds. every time something becomes overwhelming i'd just fly up at night. the peace would be refreshing. just staring at the moon. i long for a deep breath, the tickling sensation felt as the cool crisp air hits the bottom of my lungs.
floating in space.

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

- e d i

paying my orange dues?

2009-09-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

i'm not religious, i've never said grace (apart from..school camp :P) but everyday i eat at least one orange and a few months ago i started thinking about the life of an orange and i've become thankful for food i consume. i acknowledge the production process as i eat and think about the copious time and energy put into bringing the food to the state that it is on my plate. for the purpose of this post i'm going to use an orange as the subject:

i give thought to the seed, the tree, the nurturing of the tree and all the seasons that the farmer loves the tree for. the initial formation of a baby green orange on the tree, and the delight it brings the farmer for he knows he'll have a 'fruitful' harvest. then the weeks it takes for an orange to ripen on the tree and eventually drop, or be picked by a person who's soul purpose in life is to pluck oranges off trees. it then is carried to a cold, lifeless warehouse or packing facility where it's labeled ans deported to a retailer or a point of sales. mum then goes on her weekly food gathering endeavor and trades hard earned coins and noted representing wealth for numerous orangeS, which are then brought home to where they'll meet their maker, moi. ORANGE GUILLOTINE! the days, weeks, months put into preping the orange for my consumption precess which only lasts...1-2 minutes tops seems imbalanced, such is the world. which leads me to consider the destructive nature of humans, buttttt i'll save that for another post (maybe).

i appreciate the taste of oranges greater than before :) ... it's sort of blissful.

when i see natural disasters on the news wiping out towns and villages, as well as grieving for the people i also think about their belongings and the food in their homes that's being lost, i once again think about the produces and the value of the food.
when a farmer see a civilian devour an orange do they feel a sense of accomplishment? achievement? or resentment for the person?

i thought about writing a creative narrative about the journey of an orange, but... iono?... CEEEEEEEBS :) ...it's number 457684534168351464868 on my list of things to do after year 12.
..............................................................

i find it funny how the a specific duration of time can be experienced differently. when people have fun they say time flies, when the experience during the time is not so desirable it's a DRAINERRRR. i wonder if a mathematical conversion can be formulated... for example say a person is given 5 minutes: if it's enjoyable it'll feel like hmm...say 1 minute, if it's hell it'll seem like maybe 10 minutes (wow this person's perception of time fails :P) therefore a ratio can be concluded 1 minute of fun to every 10 mintutes of crap. my random figures aside, is it true that the lows of life heavily outweigh the highs? or are they equal? is it better to live a stable life or one with crazy emotions full of both turmoil and serentity.

song on repeat: DBSK - Doushite Kimi Wo Suki Ni Natte Shimattandarou (why did i fall in love with you)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKy6H2snEqQ

~~~ this post has taken me the most time to write out of all my few blog posts, i dunno what happend..words didn't flow, it feels forced and awkward. my english is =\ ...i listend to the song 8 times whilst typing this up...
p.s adults are hypocrites :) they tell us not to play with out food when the fact is that somebody, i dunno who got paid to make that! -.- WHAT IS THIS?!

- e d i

remember the future [mega rant]

2009-09-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

i'd like to take this opportunity to invite you to remember what u thought you're life would be like now 6 years, 3 years, or even one year ago and how do you measure up?

Last year around this time my blood was turning green with jealousy, i so deeply envied the students battling through their final weeks of school. i did not consider the fact that they had to face the definitive final exams, i just saw their rugby tops, heard them leaving school before 3.25pm, and began to feel their presence dissipating. I felt so happy for them and so encouraged to get through one more year, however being in that 'position' i must say the sensation i thought it would be is seriously lacking!

to be honest my mind is currently plagued with possibilities for the future, recently i've been waking up in the mornings thinking "3 months from now what is everything gonna be like?"
... are all my skies going to be blue, are all the trees going to be leafy and green, are all the birds going to be singing? or
... will i be stalked by cumulonimbus clouds, will the weight of civilian glances feel like 5 tonnes of shame, will my white room walls become grey and reek with disdain.
WHAT THE HELL WILL THE 3 MONTHS FOLLOWING EXAMS FEEL LIKE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
There will be minimal stress, late nights, no work, no pressure, no early mornings(i hope), no purpose, no ...wait what? ...NO PURPOSE!?
i find that thought unsettling. the fact is 13/17 years of my current life have been spent attending education institutions on a daily basis, inevitably my life has become shaped around this ideal of school without it i don't know what i'd do...all i can do is hope try/struggle and hope for the best.
this reminds me of advice such as:'study harder' or 'try harder' or 'it all comes down to YOU' ...all of which is as helpful the sound of a toilet flush. I seek help for benefit, to be externally aided in some way or another. Those 'words of wisdom' remind me of when i ask my someone for their opinion on a subject and they reply 'up to you...' WTF?! am i not worthy of your mighty opinion? ...or are you just so lazy that you ceebs thinking of one? -.- either way GRRRRR.
~Please excuse the digression, my focus lapsed :(~
as i toy with the unlimited potential of the unknown i fear i may meander into dangerous territory. expectations might be set which if unmet could be a crippling blow to my consciousness. i AM deterred but i cannot help it. and then i go on to think if we all die in the end whether it be 50 or 100 years from now then what is the point? i've received the gift of life, but if it proves more nuisance then an enjoyment then why? should we be grateful for a gift that fails? for example if someone receives a..hmmm a broken limb for their birthday should they be grateful? ...after all 'it is the thought that counts!' someone made the effort to deliver...

i'm currently trying to remember all the possibilities for my life in 3 months time, and when that time comes i shall compare and blog about that... just for fun no?

blah~blah~blah

- e d i

Slowing Up

2009-08-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

despite my low/poor contributiong to this blog, i've actually attempted numerous posts, they just don't get published. either because i lack the drive to complete the posts(i really hope this is not a reflectiong of my personality) or that i do not feel the posts should be directly linked to me for reasongs which i posses but yet to justify, after all we are all people living on the same planet with relatively similar expectations of society(unless you are a nobel of some sort.. in that case i'm honoured you've somehow managed to stumble upon my blog). i feel compelled to blog after every blog i read, i'm surrrounded by such literate people and am affected by their words.

Term 3, 'the final quater' before exams. We're expected to focus and if haven't been already, whole heartedly apply ourselves to our studies. This topic evoked a series of humerous but alarming discussiongs which i've had the privilege of participating in. I really must thank my Phys Ed. class for allowing insight into a non-asian influenced environment. it's kind of sad really, most if not all of my close acquaintances are of asian descent, thus i'm deprived of the 'true Aussie’ culture. In class we were discussing the relationg between year 12 and a seasong of AFL, and as my teacher began wording his skewed perceptiong of how students should heed such wise advice one of the students asked “Do you think some of us should start tanking?” ...this allowed everyone, even the teacher a good laugh, and I was sitting there smiling and chuckling as though I understood the joke when in reality it made as much sense to me as http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l12Csc_lW0Q . Apparently a team starts tanking if they know that making the finals is impossible so as a result they play matches ‘half-assed’ and lose intentionally. - “funny ones! I’d pay that”

Recently i haven't been listing to any up beat songs. Slow RnB and acoustic 'alternative' songs dominate my playlists, and i attempt to comprehend the lyrics. This i believe to be reflecting my current attitude toward life, i wish i could slow down each day or just relive every yesterday i spend on earth. I currently have 'Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love' by Coldplay playing which is probably the fastest song i've payed attentiong to in the past month or so. It's putting me in the mood that makes me questiong why do people smile for photos? Is it because the time is meant to be pleseant? But what if the event was actually not as joyus as portrayed, memories of the event will be brought back by the photograph and will be predominantly unpleasing. What would happen if our facial expressiongs captured truely reflected our expriences? Photographs are taken for later use to prompt memories, if possible i would like to take a photo everytime i honestly laugh, and i think when i mature, hit a midlife crisis or eventually age and being to suffer from amnesia, i would like to reflect, use the photos as a filter which only remind me of the good times.

- an innocent smile will go the furthest.

Goal: if at all smile honestly, with the execptiong of making others smile :)

- e d i

way past due (2)

2009-07-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

as boredom takes over at 4.04am i begin thinking to myself...what is ther to do? ...BESIDES sleep. Contemplating such thoughts somehow, directly or indirectly lead me to have an epiphany, i being thinking deep thoughts, or well...i consider them to be deep.
Why do we sleep? What is the purpose of 'rejuvenating'? Why are me made to require such an inactive state? Why cant the sun be our only energy source? What is the purpose of LIFE, wen wer born and die...the time in between birth and death is supposedly a journey but what is the point. Ultimately it is all in vein, it is evident that the destructive impacts on the earth out weigh the constructive, and if the destructive impacts did not exist then the constructive would not either. Why is nature so ...left-justified? ...why is it easier to destry then to create?
Without coexistance ther cannot be existance in as they thrive oon each other, however a single existance must have occurd prior to coexistance. Take MJ for example... he is AWESOME, but lyk most if not all performers say "We're nothing without you guysh..the fans" ...must be the MOST UNDERRATED STATEMENT ever! how cane someone be famous if no one knew about them. im bored again..this was fun...ive now..made myself mildly depressed....heres some pictures as i promised in the alst blog. :)
This pic is from a couple years back..i came home one day and i found this in the garage. A spider jus chillin' ...wayy tooo cool to kill. i took it to the back yard and placed it on the neighbours side of the fence :) ....hopefullu cause i didnt harm it...it wont harm me.
Good ol' maplestory. I played for ages -.- till i got hacked lyk a noob. a couple days ago my tutor brought up this game and FULL ON dissed it. Mang i was cut...but i loled cause its actually a pretty sad game.. but it was daym fun wen i played!
That sky is beautiful. Taken from the aeroplane trip on the way to Hong Kong last december (2008). I think the clouds sorta looks like ice. pic gives me the greatest sense of serenity <3

Way Past Due.

2009-06-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

OOOOKAY...eh hem... wher to begin?
ima type lyk this for the blog, simply cause i ceebs with the formality that i frelt was necessary in my previous blogs... hmmm weird.

November last year looks lyk i blogged bout olympix and w/e since then nothing much has happend except for...FREAKING VCE! ...oh and some other stuff to ill write about aswell :)

OH! i went to HK last year in December. Dad's obsessed with the place, he loves it, can't get enough of it, can't get over it. It was fun...except i got bored after the first 3-4 days. The trip last for 12 days in total and i got bored a quater of the way thru. GG! Luckily Jong Ree lent me his ipod for the trip which was my salvationg. I copied my music on to it but i ended listing to all his Hillsong tracks. Dammit Jong ...that bastard sucked me in! Now im a regular listener to Hillsong songs, i find them somewhat comforting. i missed out on getting my accouting study score cause i was in damn HK on december 15th. yes i rember the date -.- the whole day i was just sighing and listing to hillsong... LOL. I applied to recieve the txt msg for my study score but since i was not in Aus and i didnt enable roaming on my fone it didnt recieve the txt. SO THE FREAKING VCAA SCAMMED ME OF $1.50 ...what cheap arses, inorder to rectify such a blunder i feel the only way for them to repent would be for them to gaurentee me a NOT 'below 30' enter score. anyways back to HK, i swam in the 'open water' for the first time whilst i was ther! In deep water bay. Ther was a shark net in place which meant that sharks are present... so i refused to swim..somehow my dad got me in the water(he love swimming so much so that i hate it <<<<3> 'not bad' > 'pretty good' I guess it got progressively better. leading upto the after party. it was cool to spend a night with friends outside of the house...thanks peeps :)

Mid year exams! Chem and Physics...i got f-ed in the a. ...struggle...

NOW holidays! :D yay! ive been in holiday mode since the end of the week of the midyr exams. Which consequently has left me with some catching up to do, meh! its holidays! My PED teacher said its well deserved and he was daym right! i wantd this hols to be good, but sofar it has had probs the gayest beginning. I mean i had 8 hrs of tutiong in the first 3 days -.- WTF! i missed out on transformers 2 with friends :( ...im cut, they ditched me! grrr! i still wanna watch! Movie night was pretty fun at justings. Altho we only watched one movie. We started watching some 'comdey' film called Lower Learning.... no comment. Mirrors on the other hand was fun!i ejoyed it. i wouldnt have watched it on my own, btw Adhi...ur weak! as Winnie said 'grow some balls mate!' I didnt find it totally scarry. At the end wen u actually see the antagonist, i thought that bit was freaky... but for most of the film wen the mirrors wer 'bad' it was not too scarry. IM FREAKING COLD AND ITS 4.46 AM! ...anyways...i want movie night again..with more horror film xD i think im more freaked out by monsters and devils that by gore...too much video games.

Ok ima sign off here and go to sleep....this blog is extremely dry...ill do more later this hols and include pictures for pure viewing pleasure ;D yum.....blah blah! its cold...ima not tired but i need to go sleep....and mum mite wake up soon :C ...LOL 'Edi-out!'

ima b bwoggin'

2008-11-13T03:56:00.002-08:00

Hi peeps!
Just chillin' toally in a mega CBF mood atm. Now that 3/4s have finished its LIKE end of school, excepts its not! 1/2 exams dawning real quick. Since the last blog nothing much has happened, just a couple of minor events:
Awesome Chinese Olympics, well the first hour or so was awsome...the enirety of the cermoney i thought was actually a bit over whelming. It went for too long. Modern "hip" society thrives on hype and up-beat elemtens and the Chinese did not fail to deliver, the drums were epic. However, how damn long can people put up with flashy lights. i really feel for the people who forked-out hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars to buy tickets, although prior to the actual night i would have like to get my hands on some. I also believe that the competition was rigged, or the chinese athletes were talking super-top-secret mega performance enhancing ginseng, as the medal tally was absolutely ridiculous! Especially that gymnastics team. When the coach was being questions about the ages of the gymnasts his reply was something along the lines of: "Yesh, yesh they got o'd enough! nes qweshon!"...hmmm, dismissive. Mes Ami! I present....
-Les Enfants! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Next topic to rant(discuss) about in this long-time coming? blog would be basketball(club) i guess. I decided to cease shootin' hoops at the start of the year as i thought i could get a job, but nup! Job hunting is the worest possible quest one can embark on as not only is it energy draning, it is demoralising when failiure becomes apparent! Anyways back to bball. During the 1st or 2nd game back, some shit-face decided to molest my pinky with his foot so its currently dislocated. Need to get it treated but....CBF, if its not painful i dont worry. My new team consists of 7 players: ME, 3other fobbies who are decent, a ...guy (doesn't have an approachable personality, went to talk to him once...FREAKING DRY-ICE COLD SHOULDERED ME!) and 2 tards who serverely lack communication skills and co-ordination (one of then always looks at me down the bridge of his nose...and cannot bounce a ball to save his life.) Anyways the team is top-notch yeah! we havent won a game(5) yet, came close ONCE but...DENIED!
THAS ME >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Last but not least, school and holidays! YAY! nothing really to talk about here....OH! today in 1st period we had a sub, who happened to be the careers councilor. She talked about life beyond VCE and gave us a survey...more like a profiling sheet for us to fill out. The last section consisted of a range of field of study in University and professions, and we had to number any four (1-4). It made me realise that i havent actually thought about it very much. I pretty much had my mind set on becoming an engineer since grade 4 or 5. But work expirence at the end of last year made me realise how civil enigeering is so dull and bleak...just sit in an office cubicle and calculate to forces acting upon a bring...ooo how riveting(sarcasm*)! Life was so simple in primary school, the simplicity of stuff in general was so easy and fun! engineering was...engingeering, just knowing how thing work...now engineering has branches?!?! who would have thought!

Whenever i right a blog i refect or reminisce on what was and could have been. Maybe thats just me but it i realise all the time i have wasted, how motivation plays such a major role in defining people as human beings...hmmm deep. Anyways!..."in other news" dad got an Asus Eee PC. Keys are miniscule, a stylus is requires to press them, ifeel like homer when he grows fat and is forced to work from home, and when theres and emergency, he dials some numbers on the phone and the reciever says..."The finger you have used to press the key are too fat!"....thats me!!

Omg! the Cbox was uber hard to setup...im noob, spent like...40mins or so trying to input the script!...
Last line, ill leave you with this: When we people say we are here for a purpose does it mean, we all serve one purpose or we each have a purpose?...hmmm...something for the diseased contemplation garden in cgs =P....actually idont care!
-Edi out

"nothing to write" - anonymous

2008-07-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

Hi people!
It's me again, was prompted to write this blog after i was told that my blog is dead. it was in fact just neglected. so here i go, spontaneously writing about recent events....or not.

Fun fact: its impossible to fold an A4 piece of paper more than 7 times.

I recently went to Borders book store and there was this book that caught my fancy. Titled "Greatest mistakes that changed the world - and the people who made them" (something along the lines of that). I was reading it asian style back to front so i missed the contents page, and as i was reading the contents i saw something about Jim Jones, a rapper who "rapped" the song Ballin'.
Ballin' was Chad Wardenn (some guy who likes PS3) unofficial theme song in all his youtube vids.
Anyways back to Jim Jones...HE LEAD A MASS SUICIDE!!!!! uh... It included drinking Cool Aid which contained cyanide. hmm...leathal.

Next up to talk 'bout would be Batman - The Dark Knight. I have yet to see and really wanna see, Heath Ledger for every prestigeuos Acting award out there !!! from the trailers it look l33t.
Transformers 2 coming out next year. Bleach anime is tedious to watch. I want to eat dark matter...mmmmmmm! yum!

Well..that's it for today i think. might post again in another century.
Edi out!

my v.first blog... w00t! - keeping up with times.

2008-07-09T04:59:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody,
I have come to realise that conforming to the not so recent trends of publishing online blogs is actually a very creative way to escape the repetitious, unproductive daily activities of life (mine in particular). So after much deliberation (in my head) i have decided to be an online blogger. I have previously created a MySpace account which failed miserably mainly due to my lack of commitment, i just could not seem to be bothered to devote seconds of my life to blog there. As time goes on my memories start to fade as old as i am and i seem to have forgotten the magic type in which to access my account... also i had no friends. hehe.
SO this is my first attempt to serve up a nice big platter of ~Edi 's life to you.
Enjoy.

As holidays come to a conclusion i feel that the past week and a 1/2 have been extremely unproductive, as most past holidays have been. Anyways current progress report so far these holidays are (im gonna be Asian-nerd and and apply figures to 'stuff ' ):

Homework: 50%
Fitness level: -25%
Computer usage (out of time conscious and unconscious): approx. 80%
Laptop (the current state at which my laptop is as opposed to when i got it new): 2%
L's test: 94% <<<>8 yrs (im 16 and 2 and a bit months so i do not fit the profile of a paedophile) this game had taken over my life for about two years WAY back in grade 8 to the beginning of yr 10. i quit because i got hacked. But as i played at the start of the holidays due to reasons unknown it was a very long enjoyable trip down memory lane. ANYWAYS enough of that, i make a promise to you the reader and anybody that cares that i will not play ever again with the exception of once or twice...ive been banned btw for using a '3rd party program' xD if i break this promise i will...hmm...cry?.....ALOT!

Laptop...equals the worst piece of technology if it can be called that ever made. ACER has broken my heart as well as my parents pocket which is currently under repairs. Speakers broke last year and keyboard has just decided cease working...I'm pushing for a new electronic companion when i successfully enetr uni.

L's test is very good... I was very actually extremely nervous, my hands where shaking when i was doing the test and i really do not know why. But in the end i passed and now is very happy that i have an actual legit ID. ...did not read the book (most ppl don't...i don't think).

I have never actually though of myself as being emo at all, but as i write this blog the level at which i feel miserable has just escalated through the roof. Reasons (emo thought provoking in my opinion):
I realise as i reflect on my life how little and insignificant each one of us are. We are so small compared to the grand scale of the universe and what is out purpose. We live then we die... with happiness and pain along the way, but what was the point of this troublesome journey? if you have answers please post a reply...please no religious advice. i am strictly atheist...leaning toward Christianity but too unsure to make a decision.

Well! that concluded my first blog on the world-wide-web, it certainly was a memorable experience some what and i will definitely make conscious effort to keep my blog spot updated.
-Edi out!